As any youngster with a Mother knows, Eye Rolling is an essential talent. We Rhinos are no different. Entirely useful during parental discussions.
In the Beginning
When do any of Us start? For Rhinos, there is a moment when We become aware of what’s going on, there in our Mom’s body. This realization is pretty abstract. We are part of Mom, but also, We are each Rhinos-in-the-Making.
Rhino pregnancies go on for 15 or 16 months. The long and short of it is that when We come on out, We each have to be ready to Go.
Inside Mom We get not only a Rhino body, but We are schooled in Rhinotude, RhinoLore, R-Potential, R-Imagination, and R-Humor. Each of Us has a built-in R-Compass, plus an R-Connection to all Rhinodom, present and past. RhinoHeart. All of this while We are inside. We don’t know how it works or how long it takes, months or moments? No clocks in there. We only know that on The Big Day, We arrive equipped.
Some parts-in-waiting are installed deep inside, so We don’t realize it, because they are related to our bodies. Smelling means nothing inside, but once outside, things become clear as that System revs up.
This interior process is a Must, because when We get outside, there are a zillion other things to learn and absorb. Moms are spared the education within; it’s just part of the Natural System as designed. Her job starts when We arrive.
Plus We then have bodies to work with, which has a lot of attendant considerations. We need to get skipping right away, as you can imagine. Before skipping was invented, We lurched.
Plantaholics, Unanimous
Plants are great Communicators, busy night and day. As living things, they have an agenda and an arc to their lives, just As We do. They change hourly, first to last. Waxing or waning.
They must want to be eaten, or they would not be so irresistible. Sometimes every part is marvelous, sometimes a plant is not fit to eat at present, and says so. Not every plant is here for Us. But every time, plants tell Us what’s what. All via Scent!
We can hear Scent, even when We’re upwind. Not every critter’s ears work that way, but ours do. There is a sweet Vegetable Siren Song that calls out to Us.
If plants were not so clever, We would be constantly getting poisoned, but that is a ridiculous idea for Us. Every plant is cranking out updates on itself, every minute. We just Pay Attention. Plants are generous with their powers, sharing them with Us on a daily basis. They are very trustworthy.
Plants are Nature’s Darlings. What sort of hooligans would We be, not to sing their praises?
Playground Mathematics
Some of Us would easily teeter this standard family car, even if the family were in it, and the trunk was full of bricks. So this post answers that question.
And no, it doesn’t matter what color the car is.
Family Album, No. 1
You call Us Teleoceras. We don’t call ourselves that, but what We do call ourselves would mean nothing whatever to you. Right? This isn’t Sniff-o-Vision.
Back in the day, say 16 million years ago, We were one huge family, occupying the banks of various rivers and pools all over today’s North America. We lived in the water, like hippos, and also on the shore, grazing at leisure. There were no hippos in Nebraska (nor are there many today), and We occupied that bio-slot. Happily.
You may wonder about our skin as shown, but recall that We were a wildly successful group for 12 million years. During that time, Nature tried out a range of surface design solutions with Us. We were delighted to help with the project; wrinkly/smooth, hairy/bald, striped/spotted/two-toned, etc., etc. Change is fun, if unpredictable.
Given our Inner Rhino, We were fine and dandy and creative. We did do a lot to promote Belching as a digestive solution, a contribution to Critter Wellbeing which has sometimes been overlooked or misinterpreted. No room here for all our Accomplishments, obviously.
Then about 5 million years ago, We closed the show, making room for other family members. Nobody gets the stage forever.
Wrapping Us Up!
Given how big We are, it is no surprise that We have a lot of Skin. All over Us, bunches of skin. We family members from Central Asia, as big as any, have particularly exotic packaging, as shown here.
Parts of Us are bumply, other parts are smooth. The part you can’t see is the tender parts in the great folds of our hides. Not all the skin is the same thickness or texture. It is, however, just skin, however Sumptuous to behold. If asked, please remind people; it is not armor, whatever they may have heard.
We are closely related to the Rhinos of Java, who are more ancient cousins than We are. However, though the folding pattern of them is like the picture, the bumply parts are not. No way to explain it, any more than you could explain the shape of your eyebrows. Just the way Nature likes it, for the time being. We get bumples or not, roll of the dice.
We don’t pretend to take credit for how astounding We are; it is not something any of Us planned. All our design features come from Nature, which is plenty good enough for Us.
High Jinx on the loose…
No point in trying to cover up our tendencies, among which is an irrepressible delight in clowning around. We are Nature’s Riot Squad. That ‘Barrel-of-Monkies’ gag holds no candle to our innate capacity for Slap-Happiness.
Fortunately, We find ourselves Hilarious. Not everybody is as easily amused, grumpy old things. Whatcha gonna do?
Chompers
What is missing from this picture? You’re right: a Dentist! That is because in the Wild there is no medical attention on call. We use all natural meds in the Wild. Or hope that Time will mend Us. We have to be very careful with the teeth We get; We only get one set.
We have mighty teeth, usually about 26 or 27 or so, depending on the family in question. We do our nipping with our lips, so the main job of our teeth is mashing up vegetables in one form or another, all very fibrous. Hooray for oral hygiene, that’s what We say.
Here with Us are three friendly Oxpeckers, backing Us up and keeping Us up to date. They offer many opinions, but then again, they have no teeth at all.
From the Heart
By way of saying how grateful We are to all our Fine Readers who have taken the time to embrace Your Inner Rhino. We have been blogging for a smidge over 5 weeks, and things are going well. We just want you to be aware that your attentions are greatly appreciated.
We are pleased to observe that this is our 49th Post!
Pilgrim’s Progress
Utensils all work better in multiples, let’s face it.
Your Inner Rhino 