A Day of Festivity, one among three hundred and sixty-five. “Ho-ho-ho” works every day, year round.
Capricorns on Parade!
Haaaaaaaaaaapy Birthdays, better a teensy-weensy late than never, right? Still heartfelt.
A day late, a dollar shy…
Well, We can’t always get it right! Happy Solstice, whenever it was. Golly. Too much merry times around here.
Knock Knock
Of Human Ideas, making an “Indoors” was a real Rip-Snorter! Nothing had prepared Us for it! We knew of caves and hives and nests and burrows, but actually constructing things with an inside and an outside, all at once- marvelous. It took Us quite a while to summon the courage to try out a doorway, and many of Us are still not comfortable sampling alternative spatial concepts. Just don’t seem quite Natural for Us, being Outside Critters, for sure. Still, it is an important idea, however disorienting it may be. Inside, Outside, Inside, Outside. What’ll they think of next?
Sideways Style
So here We are, back about 20-30 million years ago. What is distinctive here is how Nature arranged our horns, side by side. Only the Diceratherium family had the same arrangement, at roughly the same time. Diceratherium were larger, and lived in North America, while the Menoceras family started out in Europe and later shifted to North America.
When We say Diceratherium were larger, you should understand that Menoceras was only as big as a healthy sheep today. We were lightly built, all things considered, and were great Runners. That was jolly, as We lived in herds and liked to trot hither and thither. Nothing like a Good Trot to work up an appetite.
Of some interest is that these horns were only worn by the males of the family; Nature is a prankster, and that’s a fact. Nobody’s safe.
Hopping & Skipping
Nature most often gives signals of Momentous Change before it happens. Some events happen at an amazing pace; the warning timeframe can be brief indeed.
Part of our species’ success rests on our ability to Pay Attention. When it’s time to pack up and move out, one must. You get one warning; it’s foolhardy to wait for the second notice. Admittedly, it used to be easier to go somewhere else; Back Then there was somewhere else to go.
Because nothing is entirely predictable, We recommend staying in shape, in case an exit is ultra-hasty. If We can’t be clever, We can be Quick.
Jolly Holidays
This is a busy time of year for Us. So many things to do and bits of craziness for Us to attend to. Makes our heads spin, but We like it that way.
Bigger than a Mammoth, yes really.
Elasmotherium is what We are called, by you all. Those of you who call Us anything, that is. Both of you.
Entering a Discussion of Horns, which is how you mostly recognize Us Rhinos, We thought Elasmotherium would make a good poster cousin. This is the biggest horn any of Us has ever sprouted, being about 7 feet long. Like all of our horns, it is made of keratin, the same as your fingernails. Pretty impressive, if you are into extremes.
Horns are a responsibility, for sure. Horns as grand as this came at a cost, namely Migraines, which We invented, certainly not by choice. Horns seem more useful than they are on the average day. Still, We have always regarded them as some sort of distinction.
This family of Large Rhinos lived in Europe and Asia, which were mostly colder than today. This was all quite recent, only 3 million years ago, but lasting until the time of Humans. Both African Rhino families are older than that, as you probably know.
Many Rhinos have not had horns; Nature did not provide them for our first 25 million years. We often think of horns as a novelty.
Aspirations
Perpetual Yearnings for Greatness. Who among Us is not looking for the Inner Rhino?
It’s always something…
Back When, things happened all the time. This is why maps have always confused us. One eon there is a clear and pleasant path, the next, Nature has put a glacier there. You could come back next week, and that’s gone- replaced by the Grand Canyon. Always something on its way. This is why We stay flexible. We dance with the prevailing winds. Accommodating, that’s Us. Ask anybody.
Your Inner Rhino 