Today We bring Mr. Harry Houdini to your attention. He was, in his time, an enormous box office draw, packing theatres in Europe and the USA. He was born in 1874, and died from an injury connected to his work on Halloween, 1926. If P.T.Barnum was the Greatest Showman on Earth, Houdini was the Greatest Show himself.

He could get out of any handcuff made, escape jailcells, etc., pick any lock anywhere, and on and on. Often he performed these stunts under water or hanging on a rope from a height. A self-made, phenominal range of talents, all before Talkies or TV. He himself was the Special Effect.

One eccentric feature of Houdini’s career was a faith in the Hereafter, the ability of the living to commune with the deceased. This was a serious study for him, and he was disappointed that after their deaths, old friends did not get in touch. Houdini’s life story is fascinating.

Mathematics is a fine subject of Study, but it requires supervised effort, which We Rhinos cannot dedicate to it. We are numerically ignorant, and often have important things to do.

Sometimes a Mathelete will appear on the scene, flexing Mathematic Muscle. We honor those who understand the subject, but wonder why they bother. Juggling big numbers has not been shown to improve matters, at least to Rhino Satisfaction.

We Rhinos are content that We maintain our State of Mind by limiting how much We burden it with whatever comes after three. “Lots” covers that topic, and has for zillions of years, or close to it. Would counting to bazillion change our lifestyle? We hope We never know.

Today honors the National Meteorolgical Day. Besides being tricky to spell, Meteorology refers to Weather, in the larger sense, whatever that means. It’s a big topic, but what Rhinos know is that Meteors, although impressive, are Very large, Very speedy, and unpredictable, Very.

What Rhinos don’t know is, what has anybody done to make them go away? This may be a tall order, but for Us Earthlings, it seems primary. None of Us wants to be the Fricasseed Rhino du Jour.

Our advice: if you see a Meteor coming your way 1) move out of the way, or 2) run away. Shrieking while you go is optional.

The Rhino Path is not strewn with rosebuds and lollipops, whatever you may have heard. But Nature has given Us one swell ability, namely, our In-ability to count beyond ‘Three’. One and Two, We’re fine. After Three, blah-blah-blah, which adds up to ‘more’.

Because there is this situation, We can have a Birthday Celebration whenever it strikes our fancy. Gifts are not necessary, but a Cake dresses up the event. The Birthday Rhino can share the cake, but it is not mandatory; some cakes are too small for that. Also, while We are at it, We can declare birthdays, sometimes more than one a day.

See what you can do to spread our system among your friends. They may need time to adjust, but shortly they will get on the bandwagon with you. After all, Cake is Cake.

Now and then a Rhino will flip its switch, and proceed as if addressing a world filled with Idiots.

We ‘Idiots’ often ask ourselves if the effort spent on correcting Us might be better spent addressing Rhino #1’s sense of superiority.

Or perhaps Rhino #1 is perfect as is. (Please snigger softly.)

Jolly Greetings on this, the second day of the Spring Solstice.
Makes a Rhino feel bouyant, which is no mean trick.

Also: today is National Fragrance Day!

We’re sorry to have been out of commission for a few days. Sorry.

Today We are focused on Hissy Fits and Acting Up. For Rhinos, these are mostly prompted by a sense of being wronged, with or without justification. We get ourselves worked up, and then, do everything We can to annoy everyone else.

Why should anybody get to giggle and smirk when We are outlandishly Grumpy?

Rhinos are fortunate that We have very little to do in the average day, except eating, maintaining our heft.

Thus We have time to consider who We would like to be and how We would conduct ourselves, when these dreams come true. And We can retrim our desires at short notice, which is good, since We shift our individual focus, sometimes hourly.

These activities don’t slow our chewing which is the major necessity. And We can always rely on our innate Rhino-ness to salvage the situation, in case We have forgotten who We are for the moment.

Rhinos have always enjoyed the hullabaloo of St. Patrick’s Day. So We thought We should give you our recipe for Shamrock Pie. Well, it turns out that Shamrocks are poisonous for humans, (who’d a thunk it?), so We had to settle on showing you how charming such a pie can be.

Disappointment is a risk We run, letting you Readers in on Rhino folkways, but better that than put our Readership in the hospital.

May the winds of fortune sail you,

May you sail a gentle sea,

May it always be the other guy

Who says, “This drink’s on me.”

Bill & Elias & Thor

Once in a while, We Rhinos have to unload some of the Energy We generate. Gotta let go and cavort.

That’s how it is, and that’s how it”s been!