De Classics

Rhinos are connoisseurs when it comes to Mud (among other things). Our skin is so sensitive that We use this gift of Nature to protect ourselves. We have used Mud for eons (?). Long times.

The Recipe is deceptively simple: Add water to dirt, stir, and Voila! Mud. But We Rhinos carefully analyze the dirt, the water. We appraise the use to which We intend to put the Mud. A Sun Screen? A Bug Repellant? A Cosmetic? A Plaything? Do We want to enhance the recipe with leaves, or bits of other food, or whatever seems best? A drop more water, a pinch of sand? And of course, there are R Family Traditions involved as well.

Mud can be overwhelming in its variations and complexities. Take it from Us!


If Rhinos didn’t have such a wide range of built-in Detectors for Rhino Excellence, it would take a lot of Equipment to do the job. Most of the time, a whiff is all that We need to sort things out, which is good, given that We don’t have Things in the Wild. No curb-side delivery here.

Inner Rhinoness broadcasts itself without any effort from the sender or the receiver; it just happens automatically. Makes it easy to get along, share a giggle, ponder gravity, then move along.

We all have Inner Rhino in common, though sometimes We forget to hook it up.

Literary Accordionism

Alice, of ‘Alice in Wonderland’ fame, had an unusual collection of experiences, a surprising number of which involved shifting sizes, mega-tall to quite short. What triggered these changes is attributed to cookies, drinks, mushrooms, and who knows what all. One minute Alice is one size, turn the page and she’s another.

What makes Alice’ Inner Rhino so obvious is that she notices her transformation, but does not panic. She looks around for solutions, and when none presents itself, she presses onward. We ask you, what more Rhinoid Determination could she demonstrate? Cool in the face of Confusion. Mostly Mannerly, despite Provocation.

Sounds just like Adolescence to Us.

Detection Systems

Rhinos are surprisingly sensative in almost countless ways. We accept input from any quarter, and add up the contributing elements into Insights. Or at the very least, Impressions.

Still, We must acknowledge Smell as our most heightened source of data. We amaze ourselves, frankly. We can do a count on a dish of figs at fifteen miles, if the wind is supporting the experiment. These are not parlor tricks We are discussing; these capabilities are the ones We count on for Survival in the Wild.

We do our best to remain philosophical- and grateful.

The Cosmopolitan Critter

Nature designs each member of our Rhino family specifically for the time and place in which We find ourselves. No two places are the same, nor are the playmates, weather, or vegetation We encounter just the same, etc.

When transplanted, We adjust as We must; better someplace that demands our attention than No Place at all. Which does happen.

You can take a Rhino out of Botswana, but you can’t take Botswana out of the Rhino. Nor would you want to.



Every now and then a young Rhino will turn to an adult and remark, “You’re not getting any Younger, y’know.” Sass, pure and simple.

Rather than sitting on the young Rhino until it hollers, the adult answer is usually, “Neither are you.”

The idea is shocking for the young that many processes, in this case Aging, are part of the Natural Deal. For all of Us.