“Facts of Life in the Wild”, a post of 11-10-14, addresses some of these issues as well.
Ticked Off
As mentioned, We eat greens. We stroll among the grasses and shrubs, munching and cogitating and humming. Pastoral pursuits, annoying no one.
But– All is Not Well. Among the friendly plants creep our teensy, virtually invisible nemeses: Ticks. These merciless critters jump Us, and seek aggravating places to bite Us. We are the bonanza four-legged Cafeterias of the Tick Universe.
(Among themselves, Ticks may be comradely and a lot of fun. There, that’s all the even-handedness We are giving to these freeloaders.)
But there is Hope! Our feathered friends actually like Ticks; the Food Chain chugs on. They flock Us, and locate these invisible colonists, and then, Ha-Ha!, Mealtime: Part 2 commences. Hoozah and Thank you very much, says the Cafeteria.
Shown are Mynah birds, which are diligent and sociable. They are gossipy, though their ideas of what is intriguing is not always Rhino, if you see what We mean. That said, We would listen to anything for the relief they afford Us by ridding Us of these pestilential bugs.
We live in the Wild. Like every other plaything of Nature, We are designed to graciously bear what must be born. We bear Ticks, but are not always 100% Gracious about it. There is a Limit, you know. Even for Us.
(Mynah birds don’t weigh much, if you were wondering.)
Kith and Kin
Back a bunch of Million years ago, say 50 or 55, We first became aware of RhinoHeart (10-20-14). This was quite an occasion, as it was our first inkling that We were venturing in a new direction, diverging from the rest of the family, as We knew it. Up until then, We all looked about the same. Odd-numbered toes, kind of small and lumpy, fast on our feet.
But things worked out this way: We are cousins with both Horses and Tapirs, though the differences have become more marked with Time. Those differences are not just physical. Those families took off in their own directions, answering the call of Nature as they heard it. HorseHeart, TapirHeart.
We did the same thing, only We were dealt different cards. Happily. We have no complaints, that’s for sure. Still, there is that DNA that makes Us recall the connection. One whiff, and We know We are cousins, kissing or no.
We’ve all been busy.
Epicurean Voluptuaries on the hoof
We do eat only greens. However, being blessed with palates of remarkable sensitivity, combined with Unparalleled Imaginations, We can concoct a banquet from whatever is available. Raw. In that sense, We are Master Chefs. Each and every one of Us. And it’s always “cooked” to order.
This is a useful capability in the Wild, in that We do not have kitchens or oven thermometers. Or waxed paper.
If it itches, scratch it
First off, to relieve your minds, Baby Rhinos do not have a horn when they arrive. Thank heaven, say all Moms in a chorus. Loud.
But horns do start growing early on. It’s a gradual business and a delightful one for the Tot. Who wouldn’t like to see these nasal ornaments sprouting? Makes Us feel like Team Players, wee but dedicated. Boys and girls. Horns may start as insignificant lumps, but that’s only the beginning.
There is a lurking issue, and that is Itching. All one can do is endure it, and rub it. And stare at it as best one can. And ponder the marvels of Growing Up, which, let’s face it, are pretty Mysterious.
Horns require a good deal of attention, not only in youth but later too. They need care and honing on rocks and trees. We want the hornage We each get to reflect our awareness of how swell horns can be.
By the way, horns can be broken off, one way and another. They do grow back. Like your fingernails, they keep chugging, first to last. Pretty much a Wow experience- and oddly enough, one only We Rhinos are in a position to report on.
Dining in the Dark
Our sleep patterns are approximate, more or less, mostly. The Good News is that We see very nicely in the dark, making midnight suppers a pleasure. This is good because many plants smell- and taste- their very best after sundown. We don’t need to go stumbling about, getting banged up while looking for fodder. We just strut up to the plant, greet it and eat it.
Disruptions #3
SheNaniganza is the shrewdest of the Disruptions, planning Discombobulations and Gumfoozlements. SheNaniganza is the most daunting Invisible Crony each Mom must confront. Tantrums and Commotion are one thing, but calculated Confusion is more confounding. Patterns develop; once the Tot sees that a stratagem has worked, why not try it again and again? Crafty is as Crafty does… or something along those lines.
SheNaniganza is always on the lookout for variants on the main theme, namely Maternal Vexation. The cry goes forth: “Tots shall inherit the Earth; Tot-Power, Yessssssssssssssssssssssss”. (fist pump, fist pump)
When everything goes according to plan, the Tots are right.
Disruptions #2
RunAmokus is probably the rowdiest of the Disruptions. Chaos and anarchy are insufficient; crashings about and leaps and a few cavorts are necessary to create fully-realized Disarray.
The Disruptions work together, though RunAmokus and Thunderumpus are definitely sidekicks. Their work is almost always spontaneous, wild-eyed, and mindless. It is their disregard of order that makes them so appealing to the Young whose R Tot activities are closely monitored. By Mom.
As young Rhinos mature, the Disruptions age too. Their basic nature does not disappear, but other developing Inner Rhino systems make them, well… less disruptive. Flare-ups still occur, but not with the trying regularity of childhood.
RunAmokus is not strictly gender-linked, but it is true that many male Rhinos do not acquire the same level of control as females. And vice versa, sometimes too. Ask anybody.
The Magical Fruit
You probably know this, but it’s National Bean Day, yes it is! We Rhinos are all for beans, all kinds, all flavors. Beans are remarkably useful for helping make gas, inside, between one end and the other. Chew them up, and Bingo! gas!
We have always felt that one of the many reasons We are so light on our feet is that We are bouyed up, like a Macy’s balloon. Veg Gas is lifting us! Is that Marvelous or What?!? That is what contributed to our inventing the pirouette. Bet ya didn’t know that, right?
Honestly, what other critter would have come up with that?
Disruptions #1
All young Rhinos have Invisible Playmates. Not all these friends are well behaved, and such an accomplice is Thunderumpus, whose specialty is Hullabaloo.
These sidekicks are unpredictable because they have no scent, just perverse influence. That said, every Mom is familiar with her own feisty pals, so she has a good idea of where things are headed when the ruckus starts.
These companions have lifelong impact. That’s how it is, so why fret over it? They are not Guides (11/22/14); they are Disruptions. They are part of the R-Package.
Fortunately, Thunderumpus has a short attention span, so the frenzy is mostly brief, though intense. Tots often feel pretty smug after going bonkers, and may require a post-turmoil nap to restore their equilibrium.
Your Inner Rhino 