Category Archives: Ancient Rhinos

On the Rocks

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Woolie-Man

We do not recall the day when Humans came onto the R Radar. They scampered around, doing who-knew-what, and We let them have their day. In the trees, in the grass, into everything. A spirited crew. Nature comprehends its own goals, not We Rhinos.

To be clear, Rhinos had been around for 50 million years or so at that point, so We had developed a great many skills and sensibilities already.

But it turned out that Humans had a keen interest in Tools. You may not think of stones as tools, but when somebody hurls one at you, it gets noticed. It is called the Stone Age for a reason. Rocks were abundant, all over the place. Humans were drawn to them.

When a species is in its infancy, We must be patient. We went further than that and offered advice and support. We will never know where you Readers might be were it not for Rhino Guidance, will We?

You’re welcome.

GlobeTrotting

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4-11PreChunnel

Interestingly, when there is an Ice Age, much of the world’s water freezes, but does not melt. (Don’t ask why; We don’t know.) All that frozen water means there is less to fill the usual seas. So We can proceed from one part of the globe to another without either a boat or snorkeling equipment. No troublesome water, often for a Long Time.

You see here the happy Woolly Rhino, having gone from the mainland (A) to the island across the way (B). No wet ankles, just a whole new turf for investigation.

By the way, humans made many of the same trips as We did, following in our footsteps. Trailblazing, very Inner Rhino.

We have seen a lot of interesting places during the cycles of Ice Ages, which are always coming and going, as it turns out. That said, when things warm up and sea levels rise, We have been stranded in some picturesque locales. Curiosity is a mixed blessing, say We.

One wrinkle: Ice Ages are chilly, as you might expect from the title.

“Mirror, Mirror, on the wall…

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Who’s the Biggest One of All?”  We wouldn’t ask if We were not the answer, right? Right. Indricotheres! the largest land mammals that ever lived: Indricotheres!!!! 15 million years of success, give or take some million.

Indricothere 2-1

(Please recall that when We count to four We get unsure of ourselves. We are haphazard statisticians.) 

We weighed in at about 16 tons, more or less or more, and stood 18 feet at the shoulder. The picture gives you the idea. No horns. We worked our way across Asia and Asia Minor, ambling around the seas that were popular Back Then. Eating whatever greens Nature provided. Dietary Flexibility: an R Family tradition.

We offer some Mongolian decor, to help you remember our stomping grounds. Indricotheres ‘retired’ 20 million years before the first Mongol picked up a paintbrush, but We needn’t get fussy… It’s the Big Picture, right?

Kith and Kin

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FamblyFun

Back a bunch of Million years ago, say 50 or 55, We first became aware of RhinoHeart (10-20-14). This was quite an occasion, as it was our first inkling that We were venturing in a new direction, diverging from the rest of the family, as We knew it. Up until then, We all looked about the same. Odd-numbered toes, kind of small and lumpy, fast on our feet.

But things worked out this way: We are cousins with both Horses and Tapirs, though the differences have become more marked with Time. Those differences are not just physical. Those families took off in their own directions, answering the call of Nature as they heard it. HorseHeart, TapirHeart.

We did the same thing, only We were dealt different cards. Happily. We have no complaints, that’s for sure. Still, there is that DNA that makes Us recall the connection. One whiff, and We know We are cousins, kissing or no.

We’ve all been busy.

Sideways Style

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So here We are, back about 20-30 million years ago. What is distinctive here is how Nature arranged our horns, side by side. Only the Diceratherium family had the same arrangement, at roughly the same time. Diceratherium were larger, and lived in North America, while the Menoceras family started out in Europe and later shifted to North America.

Menoceras!

When We say Diceratherium were larger, you should understand that Menoceras was only as big as a healthy sheep today. We were lightly built, all things considered, and were great Runners. That was jolly, as We lived in herds and liked to trot hither and thither. Nothing like a Good Trot to work up an appetite.

Of some interest is that these horns were only worn by the males of the family; Nature is a prankster, and that’s a fact. Nobody’s safe.

Hopping & Skipping

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Change, big time

Nature most often gives signals of Momentous Change before it happens. Some events happen at an amazing pace; the warning timeframe can be brief indeed.

Part of our species’ success rests on our ability to Pay Attention. When it’s time to pack up and move out, one must. You get one warning; it’s foolhardy to wait for the second notice. Admittedly, it used to be easier to go somewhere else; Back Then there was somewhere else to go.

Because nothing is entirely predictable, We recommend staying in shape, in case an exit is ultra-hasty. If We can’t be clever, We can be Quick.

Bigger than a Mammoth, yes really.

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Elasmotherium is what We are called, by you all. Those of you who call Us anything, that is. Both of you.

Elasmotherium 12-11

Entering a Discussion of Horns, which is how you mostly recognize Us Rhinos, We thought Elasmotherium would make a good poster cousin. This is the biggest horn any of Us has ever sprouted, being about 7 feet long. Like all of our horns, it is made of keratin, the same as your fingernails. Pretty impressive, if you are into extremes.

Horns are a responsibility, for sure. Horns as grand as this came at a cost, namely Migraines, which We invented, certainly not by choice. Horns seem more useful than they are on the average day. Still, We have always regarded them as some sort of distinction.

This family of Large Rhinos lived in Europe and Asia, which were mostly colder than today. This was all quite recent, only 3 million years ago, but lasting until the time of Humans. Both African Rhino families are older than that, as you probably know.

Many Rhinos have not had horns; Nature did not provide them for our first 25 million years. We often think of horns as a novelty.

It’s always something…

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12-10 Glacier
Back When, things happened all the time. This is why maps have always confused us. One eon there is a clear and pleasant path, the next, Nature has put a glacier there. You could come back next week, and that’s gone- replaced by the Grand Canyon. Always something on its way. This is why We stay flexible. We dance with the prevailing winds. Accommodating, that’s Us. Ask anybody.

Eye spy!

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Eyeball apparatus

It is true that our eyes are not as sensorially swell as our noses or ears. Way Back When they say it was better, but that may have been before We started growing horns. We are unclear on that topic; it was millions of years ago, like lots of millions. However, what is for sure is that it is hard to see around a horn or two in the middle of the face. Even today.

SO in the Wild our noses and ears are the First-Alert System. (Or sometimes crazed birds flapping around.) Then We look for any unusual activity. Then mostly We trot away. But sometimes We go Quickly to check it out. We are pretty Quick, whatever you might have thought. Often the disturbance runs away pretty Quick on its own.

This lens-mirror doofangle in the picture is nonsense, since there are no Optometrists in the Wild.  Might be fun to try out a doofangle, but probably We’d flip out from what We saw all of a sudden. We need to edit stimuli, to avoid overheating.

Out on a Limb

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Here is a representation of our Family, all 55 Million Years of it. It cannot begin to cover the range of sizes, styles, and looks which We have had during that period. As you blog along, We will occasionally point out Historical Member groups for one feature or another, like a bus tour through Hollywood.

You can already see where the problem will lie. Many Family Gangs and Clans have been successful for 10 million years and more. During those stretches, We have had multiple internal shifts, looked different ways, lived different places, pursued varied interests. We constantly confront the fact: We are Too Stupendous! So We marvel along with you; We are Some Bunch! RFamTree 10-22You will notice at a glance that not all our Family Members have horns. They don’t and didn’t. Horns are an exotic feature which We happily display, but it is not the prime factor. That essential pulse of Us is RhinoHeart. With RhinoHeart, one is Rhino. Without it, one is… well, something else.