There is a lot of sound here and about. How We process it is hard to explain; pretty unpredictable what grabs our attention. Sometimes it feels like Dumb Luck is calling the shots.
What’s easy to evaluate is whether the Team is functioning effectively. If not, the listener (We) can get into Trouble. Not all sound is enchanting in the Wild.
It’s a good thing that We are Quick. Once We know what’s going on, that is.
As mentioned, We eat greens. We stroll among the grasses and shrubs, munching and cogitating and humming. Pastoral pursuits, annoying no one.
But– All is Not Well. Among the friendly plants creep our teensy, virtually invisible nemeses: Ticks. These merciless critters jump Us, and seek aggravating places to bite Us. We are the bonanza four-legged Cafeterias of the Tick Universe.
(Among themselves, Ticks may be comradely and a lot of fun. There, that’s all the even-handedness We are giving to these freeloaders.)
But there is Hope! Our feathered friends actually like Ticks; the Food Chain chugs on. They flock Us, and locate these invisible colonists, and then, Ha-Ha!, Mealtime: Part 2 commences. Hoozah and Thank you very much, says the Cafeteria.
Shown are Mynah birds, which are diligent and sociable. They are gossipy, though their ideas of what is intriguing is not always Rhino, if you see what We mean. That said, We would listen to anything for the relief they afford Us by ridding Us of these pestilential bugs.
We live in the Wild. Like every other plaything of Nature, We are designed to graciously bear what must be born. We bear Ticks, but are not always 100% Gracious about it. There is a Limit, you know. Even for Us.
(Mynah birds don’t weigh much, if you were wondering.)
First off, to relieve your minds, Baby Rhinos do not have a horn when they arrive. Thank heaven, say all Moms in a chorus. Loud.
But horns do start growing early on. It’s a gradual business and a delightful one for the Tot. Who wouldn’t like to see these nasal ornaments sprouting? Makes Us feel like Team Players, wee but dedicated. Boys and girls. Horns may start as insignificant lumps, but that’s only the beginning.
There is a lurking issue, and that is Itching. All one can do is endure it, and rub it. And stare at it as best one can. And ponder the marvels of Growing Up, which, let’s face it, are pretty Mysterious.
Horns require a good deal of attention, not only in youth but later too. They need care and honing on rocks and trees. We want the hornage We each get to reflect our awareness of how swell horns can be.
By the way, horns can be broken off, one way and another. They do grow back. Like your fingernails, they keep chugging, first to last. Pretty much a Wow experience- and oddly enough, one only We Rhinos are in a position to report on.
Our sleep patterns are approximate, more or less, mostly. The Good News is that We see very nicely in the dark, making midnight suppers a pleasure. This is good because many plants smell- and taste- their very best after sundown. We don’t need to go stumbling about, getting banged up while looking for fodder. We just strut up to the plant, greet it and eat it.
Elasmotherium is what We are called, by you all. Those of you who call Us anything, that is. Both of you.
Entering a Discussion of Horns, which is how you mostly recognize Us Rhinos, We thought Elasmotherium would make a good poster cousin. This is the biggest horn any of Us has ever sprouted, being about 7 feet long. Like all of our horns, it is made of keratin, the same as your fingernails. Pretty impressive, if you are into extremes.
Horns are a responsibility, for sure. Horns as grand as this came at a cost, namely Migraines, which We invented, certainly not by choice. Horns seem more useful than they are on the average day. Still, We have always regarded them as some sort of distinction.
This family of Large Rhinos lived in Europe and Asia, which were mostly colder than today. This was all quite recent, only 3 million years ago, but lasting until the time of Humans. Both African Rhino families are older than that, as you probably know.
Many Rhinos have not had horns; Nature did not provide them for our first 25 million years. We often think of horns as a novelty.
Plants are great Communicators, busy night and day. As living things, they have an agenda and an arc to their lives, just As We do. They change hourly, first to last. Waxing or waning.
They must want to be eaten, or they would not be so irresistible. Sometimes every part is marvelous, sometimes a plant is not fit to eat at present, and says so. Not every plant is here for Us. But every time, plants tell Us what’s what. All via Scent!
We can hear Scent, even when We’re upwind. Not every critter’s ears work that way, but ours do. There is a sweet Vegetable Siren Song that calls out to Us.
If plants were not so clever, We would be constantly getting poisoned, but that is a ridiculous idea for Us. Every plant is cranking out updates on itself, every minute. We just Pay Attention. Plants are generous with their powers, sharing them with Us on a daily basis. They are very trustworthy.
Plants are Nature’s Darlings. What sort of hooligans would We be, not to sing their praises?
What is missing from this picture? You’re right: a Dentist! That is because in the Wild there is no medical attention on call. We use all natural meds in the Wild. Or hope that Time will mend Us. We have to be very careful with the teeth We get; We only get one set.
We have mighty teeth, usually about 26 or 27 or so, depending on the family in question. We do our nipping with our lips, so the main job of our teeth is mashing up vegetables in one form or another, all very fibrous. Hooray for oral hygiene, that’s what We say.
Here with Us are three friendly Oxpeckers, backing Us up and keeping Us up to date. They offer many opinions, but then again, they have no teeth at all.
This sort of smile makes Us look classy and classical, all at the same time.
One reason We keep our mouths shut when having a portrait done is that We don’t have front teeth, We family members in Africa. We don’t need front teeth for cropping grass and dealing with shrubs. We just have extra tricky lips…soft, supple, yet decisive.
Smile. You sort of got a free trip to the Louvre today.
Your Inner Rhino: lots to smile about!
We are aware of your concepts of the interior body, but Science is not a system We embrace when pondering what goes on inside Us. We have a team of tiny specialist colleagues, all busy analyzing the various sensations We encounter. There is plenty of room for everyone to compare notes, evaluate and set up responses, as needed. Everybody has one goal, namely the successful perpetuation of the Rhino in question. We are always in the Best Hands: Nature’s.
Our system works well for Us; possibly it’s passed along by our parents, as no RhinoTot comes along without this understanding in place. Who else is inside there directing matters, We ask? Clearly there’s entirely too much going on for any one specialist to comprehend.
When something goes awry, We always blame “Ernie”. We say Ernie is taking a nap, or We’d be hunky dory. (No, Ernie is just what We say, not a real guy.) Gotta blame somebody when We get the hiccups. When RTots get funny, they often scream, “Ernie made me do it!”. Then everyone squeals with laughter. RTots are silly, which is just how We like them.
You are attached to the idea of five senses. We recognize a number more than that, though We don’t count, so We don’t have a total to report. The point here is that We usually think of Taste and Smell as one sense. We are designed to relate to every delicate variation of Scent, first for data, second and third for Sensual Delight. And fourth.
We are reliably informed that this is how you think of us, roughly speaking. Big, Gray, Stolid.
Your Inner Rhino 