Towns have timetables.
We Rhinos, not so much so.
Category Archives: Plain and simple
A Word to the Wise
Today is National Peach Ice Cream Day, which suggests an instant course of action, Rhino or otherwise.
Visit the store before the supplies run out, say We.
Waaay Down South
Mr. Raold Amundsen (b.1872) lead the party that first arrived at the South Pole. It took them 49 days to get there, trekking 870 miles. Mr. Amundsen credited rigorous preparation, which seems to have paid off.
Rhinos were not invited along. We might have sent our regrets anyway; not much vegetation there. There they grow Snow and Ice.
What holds Rhino Attention is that from the South Pole, you can only go North! Pretty neat, when We think about it.
Ingestion
Some of our Readers seem to feel that an all vegetable diet sounds bland. We Rhinos hasten to inform you that grass can have Quite a Kick.
Really.
Vive la France!
Given the astounding expertise of this French Mime, it seems unnecessary to point out that this is a performance of the Fall of the Bastille, a notorious Parisian prison. It fell in 1789, kicking off the French Revolution, which was a really big mess.
Still, the French people celebrate Bastille Day annually as a day of national pride, and although Rhinos don’t quite grasp the idea, We don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade.
Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite from Your Inner Rhino, you French people. (We do not know how to add accents, so don’t complain, s’il vous plait.)
Life’s Highways
Some Rhinos have a tendency to pursue Courses of Action which are not constructive. Signs abound, pointing out the Error of One’s Ways, the air is pungent with intimations of Blight.
We get the message, but are often perplexed about how to cope, how to address the Situation.
Rhinos often forget the benefits of the U-Turn.
Since you asked…
Irretrievable
Now and then Something will come out of our mouth that, to our horror, is harsh, inconsiderate, or uncalled for. What possesses Us is beyond all Rhino logic. But once said, the stench lingers.
The only way to fix the situation is to say We are sorry, and mean it. Yet Bad Behavior is bad behavior. The only possible excuse is that We are insane, which is seldom the case.
No Rhino likes to be the cause of anguish to any other critter.
The Mudville Nine
Since Baseball is the Great American Pastime, it seems fitting to salute it on July 4. In keeping with this theme, Rhinos draw your attention to Mr. Ernest Thayer’s momentous and definitive 1888 poem, Casey at the Bat. What a wonderful tribute to American character, in its combination of Optimism and Arrogance.
The rules of baseball are too complex for Rhinos to follow consistently, but that does not mean We lose interest from the stands. Enthusiasm is always contagious.
One thing though: baseballs are inedible. We know.
Variants on ‘Never’
RTots are a notoriously impatient crowd. Rhino Moms must often field questions about when a forbidden activity will be allowed, like jumping off a cliff or picnicking with lions.
The standard reply, a classic in its own right, is: “When you can lay an egg.”
So far, this snappy response has gone unchallenged. For 50 million years.
Your Inner Rhino 
