Methuselah lived to be 969 years old, which is a human record, We are told. (This picture is Us pretending to be Methuselah.)

Counting may seem natural, but that’s only because somebody believes in it. Rhinos don’t discount it, heh heh, but then We don’t find numbers convincing. What’s the difference between a hundred and a thousand? Spelling.

One thing We can tell you is that a While Ago and before that, many critters lived scads of time, much more than today. Methuselah would just have been one of the crowd Back When. How We know this is Inscrutable, so don’t badger Us about it. As far as We can recall, We used to live a few thousand years at a crack.

It stands to reason: without a thousand years, how could We pack so much delight into one lifetime? Your Inner Rhino: Logic triumphs again!

While We have your attention, No, We do not grow beards, so We had to use a fake one. But We do have hair here and there. We are mammals, and proud of it, though what advantage mammals have over any other critter, We don’t know.

Progress will be when We don’t care.