This is the Norwegian greeting, although to Us Rhinos, it always sounds more like “Arrrrrrgh”.

Maybe We are unaccustomed to the language?

But if somebody says that to you, you will know not to take offense. Let’s keep things friendly.

Ghouls and Zombies are in fashion at this time, whenever that is.

Scaring the b-jeepers out of people is a somewhat lowlife activity, but Just Once a year? Besides, since everybody is warned, the candy donors can gird their loins and tough it out. OR call the Police.

BooooOOooouo.

Rhino Style; it’s hard to keep it toned down.

A lot of the terror Rhinos inspire at Halloween is due to the considerable bulk We represent. So this year, We are going Minimalist on the trimmings. After all, it is a costume and is not intended to be taken too literally.

Also, those fake fangs get all smooshed in with the candy, making Us grumpy. Keep it sleek, that’s the Rhino Way.

Only a week until Halloween; there is a lot of preparation involved for such an event. We Rhinos give much consideration to our imaginary outfits, mulling over the pros and cons of each feature of the get-up.

Observe the ghostly ensemble We have provided. What strikes you, were you to wear such a thing… assuming you weigh two tons. Right! The fitted sheet poses problems, since the edges wrap themselves around your feet. Dang!

Back to the drawing board. That’s why We start early while We can still iron out the wrinkles.

Sometimes the Rhino default response to almost any announcement is “Oh Yeah?”

It’s a snappier response than “What are you talking about?”

Rhinos like to imagine, to desire things that cannot be had, except in one’s heart. Like a special, personal keepsake. It’s the thought that counts.

Nature’s splendors are hard to resist, even for Us.

Birthdays are celebrations, centering, usually, on one individual. A fine tradition. As customarily permitted, they come each year, and the BIrthday Critter chalks up another Birthday.

The flaw in that tradition is that it is Time sensitive. All very well if one knows what day it is, muchless what month or year. Rhinos can’t count past 3 with any assurance, so you can see where the problem lies.

The Rhino Approach is to have all the birthdays We wish, whenever the urge takes Us thataway. By our method, any Rhino can and often does have dozens of birthdays all the time, now and again and again. Is it any wonder that We hail our longevity? No, no wonder at all.

On October 20, 2014 ‘Your Inner Rhino’ began publishing. Being as third-rate as Rhinos are with numbers after 3, We believe We are now done with our 8th year and stepping o’er the line into our 9th year, but We have minimal confidence in our calculations.

We even made a chart, but what that achieves is anyone’s guess.

Both the Anniversary and the associated trauma demand Cake. Heaven help Us find a fork.

Between ideas, a Rhino can use up a lot of time. Those hours or minutes might appear to have been wasted, but part of the Rhino mental system, such as it is, is spent in letting our minds wander.

Make of it what We will…